Wednesday, January 1, 2014

HAPpy New Years!! 2014, Baybee!

Good morning!

Well, are you holding your weary little head in your hand like I am from staying up until midnight to ring in the New Year? I had an amazing time out with our friends, and even got to go to a traditional New Year's party for the first time since I think college! Matthew and I usually stay in, swill champagne, watch something like an Absolutely Fabulous marathon, and go to sleep at 12:01 AM, but this year was a change of pace! PS talk about a crazy year-- I've been married for four months! So far, so good!

There's one thing I love as much as grapefruit mimosas, my Bab, and Kenny Powers, and that's weird, old Victorian holiday cards. I'll tell you about my dress for New Year's Eve tomorrow; let's talk post cards today! I tried to put these in order of "strange, stranger, strangest" but just gave up at one point. They're all nuts!

1) Winged baby plus stork, 1910

A couple you don't want to bump into as the clock strikes twelve-- this stork and be-winged toddler send their New Years greetings from a hundred and four years ago. Something about the baby's rheumy, over sized eyes and grave expression make this card weirder than it should be.

2) Potato New Year
I tried googling "New Years potato tradition", but only ended up with the news that Idaho had it's first New Year's "potato drop" this year. That is impressive (see clip here), but does not explain why this potato, hairy eyes and all, has taken on a human like form in boots and hat to wish us a happy New Years. I don't know, and I'm not sure I want to know.

3) Don't drink and drive New Years
So, ya got a car full of New Years babies, all scantily clad in their New Years sashes, drinking champagne and driving your new turn-of-the-century Packard over hell and half of Georgia in the dead of night on the last day of the year. What's making this worse? You are not supposed to ride on the hood, baby angels! You are being even less safe that you would be if you WEREN'T a) drunk and b) babies. Shame on you.

4) Happy New Years from Victorian loud mouth
Are you hearing a high, nasal British "I say, mygoodMAN!" coming out of this loose-jawed celebrant of the New Year? I am. Note his high starched collar, chrysanthemum boutonniere, gloves-with-buttons, and dining companions. I can't lie, I love this. 

5) Pennies from heaven New Year
PLEASE, LORD, LET ANGELS RAIN MONEY INTO MY OUTSTRETCHED HAT IN THE NEW YEAR, THANK YOU, LOVE, LISA. It's good to know heaven has a mint and is willing to share on the right occasions.

6) On some faraway bank, a beetle watches New Years
When Victorians start adding anthropomorphic animals and insects to their cards... well folks, that's when things get weird. I keep thinking of that Brian Eno song "On Some Faraway Beach" with reference to this postcard. Beetle! What do you see through the spy glass? What does 2014 hold for me?!

7) Nothing makes sense anymore New Years
"Peace, joy, health, happiness" are on that rat's to-do list for the New Year...he can cross off "riding a lobster like a horse" from last year's round up of resolutions. I keep thinking of what this would look like in real life and I keep getting the heebies.

8) Hell-future New Years
SPEAKING OF THE HEEBIES, HOLY SMOKES, WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE? In the new year, these children have domesticated bats to ride on like tiny jockeys. The main problem with this picture (though, in truth, EVERYTHING is wrong with this picture) is proportion-- think of how large that bat would have to be or how small the child for this photo to work in real life. I HATE THAT, I HATE THINKING ABOUT THAT. As much as I love bats, let's keep them out of the human transport business.

What did you think? Which one's the weirdest? Seen any kooky cards yourself this year? Still jonesing for out there holiday cards? I did a similar post to this last year on this date-- I am a creature of habit! Go check out complete different cards over on that post.

Hope you had a swell New Year's! I'll tell you more about our tomorrow. Have a great day, and we'll talk soon! Til then.


  1. Hahahaha! That rat riding the lobster is hysterical. Great post! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    1. I love when I was writing this, I started out with two or three, and then kept going "WHAT. THIS ONE IS CRAZIER." with each successive card! The normal ones went right out the window. Happy new year, Melissa! :D



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...