Standard Textbook of Cosmetology (1938, 1954, 1959, 1962)

Good afternoon!

I hope you had a great weekend-- ours was busy, busy, busy! Friday, Dad and I hit the flea market; Saturday, we went to a couple estate sales and watched some Jimmy Stewart westerns, and Sunday, Matthew and I lounged as hard as we could possibly lounge on a rare, shared day off. Six hours of season one of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and delivery General Tso's tofu yesterday is making me feel a little bad for my gluttonous indulgence of high calorie food and low quality (BEST POSSIBLE QUALITY)  reality tv...but you're only young once, right?

Speaking of being young, I'm thinking of cutting my hair to sync up with big changes on the not-so-distant horizon (don't worry, it's good news!). It's down to my elbows right now, but as you can tell from blog pictures, I always wear it up, and I think I'm ready for a bob for the first time in six years. As far as short hair styles, do we consult Celebrity Hair Now or similar shiny tabloid hair makeover rags? Nope-- you know us better than that! I dug up this Standard Textbook of Cosmetology, originally published in 1938 but updated as recently as 1962, to take a look at what was good in the world of coiffures. I didn't find my new hairstyle, but I did find some pretty neat stuff! Wanna take a look?

Mr. Lee's State Beauty College was a cosmetology school in Yakima, Washington...while I couldn't find much information on the institution, I like to think it was like that episode of Tabatha's Salon Takeover where she updates a beauty school that was started by the suave and then-eighty-some-odd year old proprietor named Flavio in the fifties'. Imagine the kind of Warren Beatty in Shampoo like hot guy hair stylist, and these are the dreams I'm projecting on Mr. Lee. The book, from page one, is a hoot-- it combines all the different editions of the book (1938-1962....quite a wide swath of beauty trends there) as one semi-cohesive textbook for the would be beautician.

First, please color me thrilled about this forecast for your success or failure as a working beauty professional:

That pert, swept-updo gal Friday is SO. CUTE. And I whole heartedly agree with the Goofus and Gallant like juxtaposition of how you should do and how you shouldn't. Could someone please needlepoint "TO BE SUCCESSFUL-- you must learn to do the little things that will make people like you" for me to hang up in my home and place of business?

Two pages later, we've jumped from the late forties' to the early fifties' (but still not au courant with the 1962 publication of the book) and what your own personal hygiene as a beautician should entail.

Do you ever notice in hair salons (or maybe the hair salons I would go to in college that specialize in $10 haircuts), there will be two or three girls with perfect, asymmetrical bobs streaked in cute highlights, wearing skinny jeans and a nice top, and they are never the person who comes to cut my hair? I am 9 times out of 10 stuck with a mountainous woman with over, over, OVER processed hair the color of  nothing found in nature, and styled (herself! After all, she's a beautician!) in the fashion of Kate Gosselin or somebody's-trying-too-hard-mom. This woman unwaveringly would look at my photo of Mia Farrow or Jean Seberg or whatever waif-like style icon I was going for at the time, and say "Yeah, I can do that," and proceed to give me a shorter version of her own hair cut. What I wouldn't give to see someone like this smiling brightly at me over the counter-- she would understand how I want hair um exactly like hers and what's more, know how to do it!

Each and every time I brush out my curled hair, I manage to look like one of the Mandrell sisters-- not-that-that's-a-bad-thing, but I can't not do bouncy, 70's prom curls even when I specifically wanted short, forties' defined waves. My hair has a natural wave to it, but is by no means curly, and I have the hardest time figuring out what kind of potions or potents I need to put on it to make the curls stay curled! I know a lot of it is in the comb out... vis à vis the chart below. SO MANY CUTE CURLS. So little that have actually appeared on my head:

I can just see myself with a pen and paper trying to remember if I was doing C curls or CC curls:

Oh, look! The exact marcelled wave from the 20's and 30's I want, but here in this 1962 textbook! Do you think it would be super, unbelievably difficult to recreate this style in the 21st century? Also, would I look like a fruit damn cake? I'm going to do research in the text of the book, but chime in if you know anything about these hair dids. Can I look like La Swanson with the basic, limited hair skills I already possess?

I love thinking of the illustrator going, ok, I need to show how this would work in the theoretical. Also, I need a poster of this crazy figure for my house.

Pin curls! Another thing I will be able to do once I hack off about a foot of this hair. Make me look like Carole Lombard, pin curls!

 This one reminds me of Norma Shearer-- doesn't it you?

Poor, dopey looking "convex" and Disney villainess looking "low forehead, sharp chin"-- I feel like I have a straight pointed profile? Can I vote none of these?

Ok, now that you've seen some of the actually helpful portions of the book, I present to you the truly weird and wackadoodle illustrations from the second half:

Jim! Jim, what happened to your FAAAAACE?! I love how nonplussed he looks even without skin.

It's a rake...for your scalp...wired for electricity...soooo....

With and without protective goggles.

A quartet of horrors. 1) Pattymelt face, 2) I'll worry about my foot bones, you worry about keeping me in Louboutins, 3)Why does Simone Signoret have such a hairy face, 4) Why does this diagram have a face at all! Disturbing! 

I've got to get going, but let me know what you think! Should I cut my hair? What vintage styling tips have you found helpful? Seen any weird textbook illustrations lately? Spill, spill!

Have a great Monday, and hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with some weekend finds! Take care; talk to you then.

Photo Friday: Style to Spare Edition

Good morning!

Here we are again, kids, with the weekend stretching its welcoming arms to us! But it wouldn't be the end of the workaday week without some vintage photos here at She Was a Bird, and these are some doozies, if I do say so myself. This flickr user's account features TONS of photos of her mother, who has got to be one of the most stylish women I've seen in the course of my Photo Friday flickr trawling. Take a minute out of your morning coffee break and see what I'm talking about.

Folks, check this gal OUT.

I can't get over what a palpable sense of personality you get from these snaps. Here's the mother as a teen wearing menswear in thirties', with all the panache and button-cuteness of someone in a comic strip. See how her hat is completely tilted to one side, those high-waisted sailor-cut pants, and the vest (the VEST) in the photo on the right. Don't you just want to do a portrait of her? Five years before Katharine Hepburn was creating a stir in Hollywood running around the backlots with her willowy frame draped in slacks, and around the same time as Dietrich was genderbending in a men's eveningwear, here's just a civilian, non-celebrity girl in some American town with enough sass and class to compete in the same league. I DIE. Have you seen anything this fashion forward in a small town outside of Idgie Threadgoode? I haven't.

What's interesting about this selection of photos is how you can see this woman's style evolves over a period of ten or fifteen years. To the right in this photo, the mother is wearing some fantastic Bonnie and Clyde looking sweater-and-thirties'-skirt combination, with another hat clamped securely to only the western hemisphere of her sweet little head. To the left, you can see her a few years later dolled up in formal wear and still just as pretty as a picture, red lipstick, and her hair in a permanent. Two sides of one fabulous coin!

As the forties' arrive full force,  the mother loses none of her fondness for  hats and pairs them with these two stunning ensembles. On the left, a wide brimmed hat secured around her chin by its ribbons, an all white dress punctuated by dark colored buttons, and white sling back, peep toe pumps.  On the right, a skirt-and-jacket combination with a Breton hat in front of a lonely looking farmhouse. I love how she uses contrast in her outfits to make a big visual splash. Notice how her hair is rolled into pretty curls and waves, which get even more dramatic in the next set:

The hair on the right! Her friend's victory rolls on the left! My scalp is veritably stinging with jealousy. One thing I thought about, going through these photos, is how by modern standards, ANYONE in a dress/heels/hair done/lipstick on is "dressed up". Keeping that in mind, consider, in a world where the standard minimum included all these now-extreme dressing points as de rigeur, how difficult it would be to be a woman who particularly stands out as well-dressed. I wonder what little details of quality or style that our lazy 2010's eyes miss when we're combing over old photos for vintage inspiration. While this woman's fierce fanciness is plain as the nose on your face, I wonder if there are photos I haven't given a second glance that people alive in that time period would have regarded as "really somethin'". #foodforthought

Below, with friends. See how the woman on the right in the photo on the left is wearing a drapey, almost artist-smock like jacket. Maternity wear, possibly? Or just a loose cut? I want the coat and hat on our lady in the right hand photo so much...will have to consult what I already have to try and recreate this look.

Last but not least, this is the photo that initially piqued my interest, because of the little girl's leopard print coat (!!!!!!!) and elfin snow cap. Pinch me, I'm dreaming. When I went back and looked at the rest of the user's black and white photos, however, man was I glad to see all the wonderful outfits in this lady's back pages.

So! What do you think? Which outfit do you want to steal in its entirety? Any stylish members of your family that stood out from the herd even when the herd was uniformly well dressed? What are you looking forward to this weekend? Let's talk!

That's all for today, but I'll catch you kids on the other side of the weekend. Stay warm, be good, and I'll see you then! :) Ciao for now.

Photo Friday: A Gal Like Alice Edition

Good morning!

Folks, it's Friday again, and you know what that means-- time to delve into other people's online photo archives for a personal look at someone else's past! I am as brazen about going through these flickr folders as I am delighted to show you today's chosen subject. I was initially going to do a post on this incredibly adorable toddler named Mike, but when I got far enough back into the family album to see his mother Alice...well, come on! There was naught else to do but go with the lovely rousse in all her just-post war redheaded glory.

Let's take a look!

This photo is one of the first that caught my eye. Usually, if I'm going to do a post about one particular kind of picture, but I see one on the way that's too good to pass up, I pin it to my Pinterest board "(Not My) Family Photos". I found myself pinning so many of these late forties' photos of Mike's mother Alice that I finally threw in the towel and decided to devote a whole post to her. As much as I love an irrepressibly cute toddler of the era, gals with great hair and great dresses will win out every time against even the cuddliest of kids. I love lice's dress and her Donna Reed lookalike companion. Also, what could be more wartime era than a date with a sailor in his full, Cracker-Jack-man uniform, out for dinner and dancing at the Palladium?

Dang, Alice! Rita Hayworth, much? A whole set of photos are from a trip these girls took to Forest Lawn and Mt. Wilson. Forest Lawn is a famous cemetery in Glendale, CA and Mt. Wilson is in Los Angeles, which makes these girls California natives as far as I can figure. Which begs the question-- why are you not in the movies already, Alice! Notice how the extra three or four inches of height on our gal makes her twice as movie-star like-- slacks for women were just made for long, lean silhouettes like this. If I looked this good in pants, believe me, I would never wear anything else. Look at her tiny little sling back loafers, too!

More of the pants and the hair that I want here...how about her beau? What I like in this photograph is how unposed it is...you can see, in the distance, some people running around candid. I am still marveling at the diminutive size of Alice's feet.

Here are the girls sitting on a guard rail on the same trip. Watch out, you're liable to cause an accident with rubbernecking bachelors! They've changed their shoes from the last two pictures, and are now comfortably clad in matching saddle shoes. I have a pair of Willis saddle shoes I actually found at the Goodwill in Donelson, and they are the bonafide Pat Boone realness of fifties' (probably men's, as they fit my size 11 feet) shoes...still, I can't figure out what to wear them with! I'm not big on slacks and they just look clunky with most of the things I've tried (or costumey, which is good sometimes and bad others). Do you have a pair? What do you wear them with? Side note: could this photograph be more like a postcard? I love the cars passing in the background and that silhouette of further mountains in the distance.

More Rita Hayworth in this photo outside an observatory with the same ruffled blouse and pants. "Aww, quit goofin;!" seems to be the sentiment here. Each photo is captioned in spidery script but I can't quite make out what it says, and I don't want to go back to each individual photo to find out. Know that this was in 1946, and I think Alice and "Arlys" were the female subjects, fill in the rest for yourself.

Another photo of Alice with great hair and a great smile. This would be her class photo. I need to look up a tutorial where you can take dead-straight, heavy hair and make it do this. A lot of the girls whose pincurls I've admired (Solanah on Vintage Vixen, Nashville's own Emma at the Fiercest Lilluputian) are naturally curly girls who have learned how to tame that texture into period-authentic, pin-up girl hair...every time I try, I feel like I don't get the definition and the shape that I want. Or, invariably, one side is perfectly curled (my hair holds a curl surprisingly well), and the other is limp as a dishrag. Oh well. Maybe I'll gain great inspiration from this knockout of a forties' teenager. If it could be done then, it can be done now!!

Last but not least, here's a photo of Alice with her future husband (who may or may not be the guy from the first couple of photos, I am so bad at paying attention to detail today). Can you believe his sweater? Those sweet expressions? They would go on to have a kid named Mike (a world record breaker for "early fifties' kid cuteness") who in turn is the father of the user who scanned and uploaded these photos. Ah! To have so glamorous a mother/grandmother! I am jealous bones for her style and forties' casual wardrobe.

Do you have any effortlessly glamorous relatives in your family tree? What is it about this kind of "dressed up dressed down" that so appealing to a 21st century gal like myself? HOW DO I GET MY HAIR TO DO THAT? Which of these outfits do you most covet? Let's talk!

Well, kids, I am turning in for this week. You have yourselves a wonderful weekend, get great stuff at the sales, and I will see you soon! Be good. Til then!

The Weekend That Was: Adventures in Beehiving

Good morning!

Whew, LORD, the weekend I had! I'm here to talk about it, somehow, as it's Monday. I've "revived the hive" (note the title of this morning's entry), so let's start by talking about maintaining a beehive in 80 plus degree weather (it ain't eeeeeassssy....)

I've been recently going through a new/old musical obsession that's got me thumbing through record bins at all corners of the Davidson County area to track down well-worn copies of albums that came out forty plus years ago...the amount of fervor I've put into it warrants its own blog post later this week, but as teaser (no pun intended, haha), I can offer up the tidbit that going back to my high-high-high hair has definitely been an offshoot of this passing fancy. It had been so long since I've Aqua-Netted my hair to landagarshen! As you might be able to see over my right ear, I'm still working on the structural stability, but it felt nice to go out with eye-catching hairdressing, back like I usta. Do you have an outfit or a hairstyle that just makes you feel like a thousand extra watts of personality? This one's mine.

This is a new dress from Gallatin Goodwill last week, which was fitting as I wore it out to a little past Gallatin  on Saturday afternoon to visit Matthew's dad and his wife April up in Bethpage. Fun was had! We journeyed back down  off the mountain in time for Matthew to sit in on a set of fifties' and sixties' songs with Chubby and the Dots for a wedding reception at the Stone Fox. He said that other than the air conditioning being out (calamity!), it was a really neat gig (the setlist sounded like an amazing mixtape someone would make for you of that-era music, so you can bet I was taking notes). This is me and the little guy lookin' serious. Do you ever forget to take pictures of yourself and your loved ones except on some rare special occasion? I do! I need to get my act together on that one!

On Sunday, my mom met up with Matthew and me to visit Sip in Riverside Village (which is a convenient, like, two minutes from our house on the other side of Gallatin Road). Strange bedfellows for a Father's Day morning? Not at all-- the three of us were meeting up with a friend of my friends the Huberts to talk about wedding catering. We had initially planned to do some kind of buffet spread through the hotel where we're throwing the whole to-do, but faced with the prospect of baked ziti or....baked ziti, at a king's ransom  no less, we needed new, more elegant offerings. Katie, who could not possibly have come better recommended from her friends-who-have-eaten-her-food, had prepared four menus, each of which sounded better than the last. We might actually have good food to eat in September on our big day! I am really stoked to decide whether I want food that sounds delicious A rather than food that sounds delicious B. Here's the second beehive I concocted this weekend for that meeting (and a later, run-over-to-the-house-for-hugs-and-gift-exchange with my Pappy):

 The dress is a little number from that amazing boxfull-of-mint-vintage-dresses haul almost exactly two years ago. The best news being, this would not zip two years ago, and fits like a charm now! I need to get back into that box and see what else is better going now that I've whittled down my waist a little bit more.

Last but not least, we visited Goodwill that afternoon after the two family-related-events (and an outfit change/de-hiving, to facilitate the trying on of new dresses) and found these:

Black velvet paintings from Mexico for three dollars a pop? SIGN ME UP. A thirties' print of the Hermitage in a professionally framed setting from the sixties' for six bucks? I'M IN. I know I'm going to have to build on to the house to have enough walls to display all my art, but dang. I couldn't leave these behind!

 So! I gotta get back to work, but let's chat! How was your weekend? Any clothing/hair successes or estate sale/Goodwill finds of note? Any tips about wedding catering or the best way to go about selecting a menu? What have you been up to lately?

That's all for today, but I'll see you back here tomorrow with more vintage goodness. Til then!

Vintage Sewing Pattern Illustrations (circa 1965-1969)

Good morning!

I'm telling you, I am here to sing the praises of the new Donelson Goodwill. Opened a couple months ago, in a lucky stroke of convenience, just across the street from Southern Thrift on Lebanon Pike, I have been having the best luck out there on everything from dresses to cookie jars, and last weekend was no exception. In the craft slash miscellaneous area of the home goods section, I found these four patterns from the mid to late sixties'. You may think this is something you see a lot at Goodwills-- and you'd be right, if you're looking to make something Blair from The Facts of Life or Murphy Brown would wear. Sixties' stuff is becoming rare as hen's teeth at some of the local Goodwills, which is making me feel old. In high school, you couldn't go through one rack without finding something or other in an op art polyester. Golden years.

At any rate, I was happy to find these patterns and went ahead and scanned them in not only to show you some of the cuckoo, GORGEOUS patterns and silhouettes of these outfits, but also the top notch styling that goes into selling the precious bits of tissue templates inside. Let's look!

I actually think I could get into the finished product of this pattern, which offers two rompers and two bathing-suit cover-ups. Again, by virtue of my hard won experience as well as marathon viewings of Runway, the importance of careful styling is not lost on me. Let's look at how these fashion illustrations stack up in the accessories department:

I want to wrap a head wrap like the girl on the left! I am all about bows and scarves tied haphazardly around my head, as you might have noticed from recent outfit postings. The long-hair swept back in a wide-tied scarf on the brunette, with a tiny bump of teasing to the back, is another scarf option, as is bow-for a ponytail of the Gloria Steinem-glasses gal. The only thing I was like "Whaaaa....?" about is that shaggy mop of mossy curls on the girl to the right, but again, maybe in the context of 1968 or 1970, this would make better sense to me.

Oh WHEE, people. OH WHEE. This is one of my favorite patterns out of the bunch...in spite of its 32 inch bust, would you get a LOOK at the GORGEOUS women in the illustrations on the cover of this pattern? Cocktail dress in four styles. Exhibit A:

The blonde on the left has the best hair, makeup, and earring combo of  the whole lot. I love wearing doorknocker sixties' earrings like this, and the very best impact for them is with something simple, simple simple in terms of the rest of the dress. I know that seems like common sense, but the number of models in sixties'-inspired modern day editorials looking like Mrs. Howell from Gilligan's Island on a bad day...well, there are more of them than I liked to think about.  If you click on the close up, you can see she also has a bracelet to match the earrings. VINTAGE. COSTUME JEWELRY. SETS. Now you're speaking my language. I can't tell you how elegant I think a matching brooch and earring combo, or necklace and clips, or bracelet and necklace, looks to me. Because I am 85 years old at heart. Side note: did you notice the pattern buyer back-in-the-day has pencilled in some illusion panels on the dress so the top is not quite so bare?

I love the woman on the right's  huge brooch, and the little gemstone clip at crown of her perfect stewardess hair.

Did I speak too soon? PEOPLE. Where can I buy wigs in my own natural hair color that will give me this insane sixties' magazine layout hair like this? Just like something out of Vogue at the time. I wonder how hard it was to keep the false pieces on your head, or if you would just do some kind of overall wig to get the tonsorial tendrils just right. Either way, I want to find out! On the right, the kind of British girl singer or secretary on the go hair I leave to annals of time. The earring are cute, though.

These baby doll style dresses are the BEES. KNEES. Check out the Cleopatra like details on the one to the far right, and how I love all the patterns going on in the other three. I think the original owner went with the second from the right style, owing to the little check mark above the model's shoulder. But the Cleopatra dress! What about the Cleopatra dress!

Here, the hair and makeup is much less impressive than in the last spread, but then the dresses are more colorful. Do you see how the aforementioned style D has the illustrated model barefoot and with the best hair out of the bunch? I wonder if the slouchy waist of the illustration is just part of the illustration or if it would be more flattering in the real life, finished version.

Last but not least, a little Mad Men formal wear. CUUUUTE. I want to run across one of these lovely things in textile rather than paper form at that Donelson Goodwill!

I know the girl's hair on the left is a little crazy à la Dr. Seuss, but that BOW? That bow, people? It's cute and I don't even care who knows it! Plus the necklace, plus the neckline. The more sedate style on the right is punched up with some large drop-style earrings, and that's something I can unapologetically get behind. Do you see they match the brooch? You see it. You know it's the business. Woman on the right, you win this round.

Well, there's the goods. Which hairstyle or accessory or dress do you want to take home for your own? Have you found any crazy patterns or pattern envelopes in your thrift store shopping trips lately? Which coiffure do I need to adopt as my next do it yourself project?

That's all for today! See you kids tomorrow.

Photo Friday: Oh BEEHIVE Edition

Good morning!

The impromptu poem running through my head this morning? "Gotta get my hair ready for a wedding we're going to tonight! Gotta get that beehive up just right!" Set that to a Gerry and the Pacemaker's beat and we've probably got a hit on our hands, folks. But seriously, I do need to get my hair in fighting shape for a friend's wedding tonight, and thought the search words "mom beehive" might be appropriate for our Photo Friday look at Other-People's-Family-Photos. Wanna see the good, the good, and the very good? Here we go!

The all-of-a-suddenness of this photo is what really appeals to me. I was talking to Matthew the other day about how 90% of the photos that existed in the pre-digital camera era would not exist were photo viewing and deleting on the spot capabilities within the power of the historical subject. Example, this woman, given the luxury of digital photography, would obviously have said "Lemme see, lemme see," seconds after this snap was snapped, veto'd it on account of her off kilter expression and her beau's general, sweaty weirdness, and this second in time would have been dispatched into oblivion. But thanks to analog, old school photography techniques, she got this picture back probably weeks later and went "Well, what can you do" before filing it among her keepsakes for her future child to scan and put on the internet for us to look at. Isn't that weird? I love her dress and her hair, in spite of it all.

Now, this girl is adorable. I love how she's seated like a Caramel Cream in a chocolate box, right in the middle of a sea of shiny metallic wrapping papered gifts. Eyeliner out-to-there? Check. Hair so high you actually have to touch it to make sure it's not "doing anything weird"? Check. Acid yellow shift dress? Check.

Don't think I didn't check to make sure this picture didn't have some kind of contextual explanation, but it doesn't. One, this woman's hair, probably with the aid of a fall/wiglet/some kind of faux hair, is PERFECT. Two, she's holding two capucin monkeys in knitted baby clothes, the tinier of the two being in actual pants? Three, her print dress is out of control, and I want it. Four, see the sailors in the background? I wonder where this is!

This lady is pretty, but I can't fully support this particular beehive. I appreciate the smooth symmetry of it, the perfect bubble of a crown-- yet cannot get behind the lack of implied volume. What I like so much about these hairstyles is the look of having princess like flowing, flowing Rapunzel locks that you've managed to pin in a comely fashion to the top of your head, and in this case, there's just not enough hair for me! Her pearlescent nails and peter pan collar are, however, commendable.

YES! It is real, ultimate height that we desire! This came from a funny post on this woman's blog about her mom's complete mastery of this hairstyle, coupled with a tragicomic incident that happened to her mom as a result of this hairstyle. Ugh! I want this level of dexterity with my hurr!

Gotta go get started on my day, but do you have any particular tips or quips regarding teasing one's hair into a sky high coiff? Did your mom or grandma ever succumb to the fashionability of this particular hair mode? Tell! Tell! Whether I'm successful or not, be on the lookout for photos of my results next week!

Hope you guys have a GREAT weekend, I'll see you on Monday!

Vintage Long Hair Styles S.O.S.(Van Dean Manual, 1977)

Good morning!

Hair, people. I've been thinking about it and thinking about it! Since growing mine out from a Jean Seberg 'do circa 2008, to its current length, I have gained in inches but not at all in knowledge of what to DO with this mangy mop of mine. Many of the books I have on vintage grooming have whole chapters dedicated to the dressing and maintenance of hair, and yet what do I go and do every day? I pull it up in a ponytail, with or without hair rat, and pin it to the top of my daddurn head as if there were no other options available to me. I might...MIGHT...be tempted to section off my hair into two plaits and pin THOSE to the top of my head, festooned with a scarf, but I do not go in for curlers, round brushes, mousse, fixatives, and other things that might make my hair look less-like-a-rat's-nest. I am insecure in my knowledge of the techniques necessary to turn my head from the flyaway look you see at left below, to the gorgeous crop of Rita Hayworth curls I envision in my head. Behold, me, last night, in my kitchen, in the only two speeds I know:

Item one: My hair is too heavy to curl well at this length. Naturally curl-less and straight as an Indian's, it curls decently at a shoulder length, but past that, at least 40% of the hair forthright rebels into its natural torpor.

Item two: If I just leave it down, it lengthens my already long face and hangs in this strange, straight-but-with-way-too-much-static-electricity curtain of uncertainty. Finishing products just make it look limp or unwashed, so I forgo these and hope for the best. One minute, I look like Janis Joplin and it's all good-- the next, one clump of hair is sticking directly out in a weird half elf lock. Bed head is one thing; this is another.

So! What to my wondering eyes should appear in the wealth of materials I've been digging out from storage than the Van Dean Manual (1977), a cosmetology textbook for studying future beauticians. And what should it fall open to but a whole section on "STYLING LONG HAIR"?

Check it out-- eleven, count 'em, ELEVEN pages of things we can try and do to this mess. Look with me, those of you out there with some tonsorial skill, and let me know which one we should try to make happen. Can these be achieved with mere willpower and length, or will my lack of hair training leave me coming up woefully short after similarly setting the hair? You tell me!

Here are the top ten (plus a bonus two at the bottom) that I had some physical reaction to, whether it was lustful jealousy or awestruck horror, I'll let you decide (hint...most of them were the former emotion):

It's hilarious how impartial the text is in its description of each of these styles. The "swing flip", for example, has a stated objective next to the above illustration: "To create a style that will permit the hair to fall and swing about the head in a free manner." Doesn't that sound like something out of state law? I see curls like this all the time in seventies' makeup ads and prime time soaps, and yet how do you keep the curls bouncing along as you apply concealer and double-cross your in-laws out of an important merger deal? At left, I thought of nothing so much as seventies' country singers, and that is never, never a bad thing. Look at the little ringlets? Contrived yet attention getting? I'm in, I'm in.

The classic page boy has a sleek look to it, and requires a deceptively large amount of locks to pull off, as the body is built by the extra hair.  I'm not sure if lighter colored hair would make this look less lacquered and perfect. I'm not even being petty-- black or dark, dark hair looks prettier in stiff shapes like this, a lot of the time my between-brown-and-blonde hair looks like it's been glued together if you're not careful with the hairspray. The coronet style on the right is freakin' insane, but think about it with a long, seventies' prom dress and a lot of chutzpah.

Two looks that I think would look better in person-- the modern goddess involves braiding, which, I told you, I'm already a lazy ace at. Maybe I could forgo the clusters of curls in the front and just do one of those Joan Crawford in the sixties' esque things at the back, pulled tightly away from the face? Definitely need to work on my backwards-in-a-mirror skills for this. At right, I'm sorry, but you know this would look really pretty and again, night time soap opera star like in real life. Something about the illustration of it makes it look too much like a train wreck of undulating waves. Don't lose faith, Mona Lisa Look! (PS: Last time I checked, Mona Lisa's hair did not...oh I'm not even getting into this. That is a ridiculous name).

I'm just going to go ahead and tell you, these three (the two below and the one below that), are my absolute favorites. These are looks that might be heavily aided by hair falls (wiglets, anyone?) or extra padding, but if I could look like any of the three of these pert nosed illustration models in my daily life, I would be at least 85% happier on average. They look like the heroines of weekly comic strips! Someone with a name like "Sondra Latchkey" or "Allie Calavert" who has high fashion adventures right above Heathcliff's Sunday slot.

The bonus two at the bottom I include only because I wanted to point out the "Junior Miss" picture looks exactly like my beloved Jane Birkin, and each style really could only probably be worn by JB or an early 70's Goldie Hawn. Am I right? Without that baby doll face and three layers of false eyelashes, just forget about it. But a girl can still dream!

Which look do you think is the most worth spending an hour decoding the professional textbook instructions for? What's the most elaborate hairstyle you've ever pulled of at home in your own amateurly professional way? What do you DO with hair my texture and length? Any advice would be so very appreciated!

All these tiny pages! Click on any one to see the full explanations of how to get these looks in your own home below. Sorry they're jumbled! Blogger is a mystery to me sometimes:

 

Have a great Wednesday, and I'll see you tomorrow!